by Deb Porter-Jones
These are some of the highlights of the reunion show, in case you missed it:
New York comes with overblown boobs, high plastic boots and the weave was tight! What a classy bee-otch our girl New York is!
IT
Tonight, we delved into some of the intricacies of the television personality known as IT.
IT gives a demonstration of how he is more equipped to protect New York than Tailor Made could ever be. He proceeds to demonstrate his strength by breaking bricks over a cinder block with his bare hands. IT then brings New York some cold-ass fries, wrapped in a pretty, ornate box. You may recall one of the reasons IT went home was because he said he couldn’t be in love with someone that he hadn’t eaten chicken wings with in front of the projects. Of course, New York throws the fries in his face. “How dare he bring Miss New York some cold-ass fries!”
Sister Patterson
Sister Patterson begins by reviewing the gentlemen who were chosen as “Mama’s Boys”, many of which ended up making it to the final four with New York. However, one of the Mama’s Boys, Champion, a former NFL player, was the first of the guys to get booted out by New York. You may recall, New York’s problem with Champion was that he seemed to be a little too enamored with Sister Patterson for New York’s liking.
Suffice it to say that although, “Champion didn’t stay in the house, he made it.” Sister Patterson dropped the bombshell that New York’s father was the past and Champion is her future. They kiss passionately, while New York is of course, predictably incensed and humiliated. I smell a set-up, guys; sorry, I don’t buy it. Champion wants them to be a happy family. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at Thanksgiving in the Patterson household.
Midget Mac
Midget Mac talks about how Sister Patterson reacted to his appearance. Sister Patterson says that she was shocked by him and she still wouldn’t want him in her house – but hey, they’re still friends!
Wolf
Wolf is forced to “put his money where his d*** is,” and prove his claim to be well-endowed. He and Sister Patterson go behind the performance area and he gives a rather brief striptease. Of course, Sister Patterson is none too impressed and claims not to have seen anything. Was it too small, or better yet, was it scared to come out? Could you blame it? Would you show your face to Sister Patterson? The poor thing probably suffered from shrinkage when it saw her face!
Entertainer
Entertainer’s still living with his parents in a 10 x 8 basement bedroom in a twin bed. A camera crew goes out to their house, where we get a real sense of just how much of a loser Entertainer (Frank) really is. He appears to have no job, no prospects, no ambition and no clue when he’s getting out of the basement!
Entertainer’s parents are also in the audience and of course they get into another screaming match with Sister Patterson and New York over who’s more disrespectful. I love Entertainer’s mom – she’s doesn’t fear The Devil.
Punk and Buddha
Punk and Buddha talked about how they both felt like they were getting played by New York, especially when she told them both that she loved them and then sent them home.
The most interesting part of this exchange included Pretty, who actually wasn’t even sent home by New York. Pretty chose to go home when he was caught in a lie about whether his family had ever met anyone he’s dated. His sexuality was questioned and he left in a huff. Pretty mentioned that he was upset about the way that Punk and Buddha pretended to be his friends in the house. Until he saw the episode when he left and saw that Punk mentioned he appeared to have something to hide and maybe he should go home. Regardless, nothing really came of this exchange and I wonder why the question regarding his sexuality was never explored. That would’ve definitely made things much more interesting.
Tailor Made
It’s clear that Tailor Made is hated by everyone in the house, namely Wise. Mr. Wise, you will recall, is the guy who was spat on by Tailor Made. Wise finally gets it off his chest how much he abhors Tailor and why he didn’t whup Tailor’s ass when he decided to spit on him in the house (he’d come a long way to get where he was and wasn’t about to let the likes of Tailor Made get him sent home). Before it’s all over, Mr. Wise even manages a sneak attack on Tailor Made. Before any damage can be done, he’s tackled by about 6 security guards and Tailor Made walks away with nary a scratch.
New York and Tailor Made announce that 3 days after the show wrapped, they moved in together. New York tells Tailor Made that he is more than she ever thought she would find. Tailor Made then presents New York with the papers finalizing his divorce. Now, they’re ready to start their life together. Then, he again presents New York with the engagement rock and this time she accepts! After all, she’s “a grown-ass woman” and sooo in love. Looks like there’ll be no need for I Love New York 3. The end of an era.
